30 Days of Music – Day 30, The Final!

Today, my final day of this month of Music was the last song I heard in the car. So for the last time, I give you…..

Tina Turner – I don’t wanna fight

30 Days of Music – Day 29

Today is the first song we hear, but as M’s alarm is a piece of music I hear at the start of his day I thought I would discount that. So the first song I heard was this as I turned the ignition on in the car was…

 Billy Ocean with Caribbean Queen

30 Days of Music – Day 28

The newest song introduced to me this year was from doing this challenge. I love the video for it, but I do love fellow Welsh boy Luke Evans.

Mick Jagger – England Lost

30 Days of Music – Day 23 to 27

After my few days of hiding away to get my depression sorted out, normal service will be resumed.  Rather than back-posting, I thought I would do a collective one covering the days missed, then one from today.

Here goes:-

Day 23 – A summertime song

Don Henley – Boys of Summer

Day 24 – Favourite Rock ‘n Roll Artist

The Beatles – Eleanor Rigby (From “Yellow Submarine”)

Day 25 – Favourite Old Country Artist

Lynn Anderson – I Beg Your Pardon, I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

Day 26 – Favourite New Country Artist

The Cadillac Three – Peace Love & Dixie

Day 27 – A song that moves you forward

Ludovico Einaudi: Divenire

Dark Days

I have not been in the best of moods over the past few days. I have been quite down, depressed some may say. I woke on Wednesday and felt a huge black cloud/dark mood come over me, and it has nestled there ever since. Indeed, it is not as bad now as it has been, but all the same, it is still there. I cannot pinpoint as to why I am feeling like this, but needless to say, it has been all encompassing.

I have avoided my email box, my blog, and other things that I do day to day. I have even deleted this post several times with the thought of “who wants to read this? really?”, then started again.

It is a holiday weekend, the last of the summer, and usually, I would be planning days out and fun things to do, but I just do not have it in me, and when I try to force myself to get back into the holiday spirit I tell myself “I cannot be arsed” and “I don’t care”, and right at this moment I don’t care. I feel like getting into bed, crawling under the duvet and letting the world pass by until I am ready to tackle it. But life is not like that and I have a partner and two dogs who depend on me. I have responsibilities that I have to attend to, and there is no way around it, so I carry on regardless of the building dark cloud.

I am tired, exhausted really, irritable to the point of flares of anger. My heart problem (atrial fibrillation) is really playing up, waking me, erratically missing beats, speeding up, stopping for long pauses, then trying to catch up on itself again. Although I am used to this, it still causes discomfort and worry/stress. This time it is adding to my dark mood, but not causing it.

My youngest dog seems to sense I am down as she keeps sitting on or by me staring at me, but not in the annoying way Eddie stares at Frasier, it is as though she is trying to help and her stares are longing loving stares. My older dog is only concerned with food, so has no interest. I told M on Wednesday that I was really down, but I have not spoken further about it. I was brought up to keep my feelings to myself, and cannot change a lifetime of conditioning.

Like all thing, it will pass.