What’s Going On?

The past month or so I really can not be bothered with anything, and I have no idea way.  Is it because I am inherently lazy?  Is it because of the lack of daylight, cold, rain and general winter blues?  Who knows!  I am in a rut basically.  It feels like the walls to the rut are just too big to get over, and the ones that I can climb are covered with grease and it becomes a pointless task.  Now, do not get me wrong, I am not feeling sorry for myself one bit, I am just in a rut!

I started with a cold about 6 weeks ago, and from there on, which I think is the real problem, is that I feel shitty all the time.  It is like the remnants of the cold are still lingering and zapping my energy, and I am still snotty too, which is a royal pain in the arse.  Indeed I have nothing of real consequence to moan about in all honesty.  After all, I have all of my faculties, limbs, husband and dogs.  I know I am far better off than many, and I just wish I could get out of this rut and be of some real use.  

Apart from reading and making the odd loaf of bread, I have done nothing of interest.  I am behind on my pen friend exchange, and although I have bought them all Christmas cards, they are still sitting on my desk waiting to be written.

Part of me thinks this apathy is just part of the winter blues, especially this time of year, Christmas and all that.  I have never really been a Christmas person.  Partly due to being born on the cusp of Christmas day, no one remembers it, never did even when I was a kid, including my family, but they can remember the birth of a made up person that was born over 200 years ago.  Before any bible thumping starts, there is no solid proof that this guy existed; Fact!  Like being vegan and having to tell everyone, keep your arguments to yourself.  Now, on saying that, not that I want anything from anyone for my Birthday apart from the verbal wishes.  It is just nice to be remembered.

No, I am in a rut and have to get out of it, so here are my words that may be cathartic in moving me on.  Also, I am putting up the Christmas tree and decorations, so that may lift me.  Mazikeen is sitting with me whilst I write this, so maybe the light is at the end of the tunnel.

Go to the light Carol Anne 

3 thoughts on “What’s Going On?

  1. I’ve known people like you who have December birthdays; everything gets so mashed together between the birthday and Christmas, you never quite know whether to do the birthday presents separate from the Christmas ones…I’m lucky in that respect, I’m a spring baby.

    We stopped putting up Christmas decorations at our house years ago. Thankfully, my brother and his family have that tradition now. My dad is the kind to surprise someone with something any time of year, but it’s nice when he gives me a little spending money for Christmas. He did the same thing for my brother last year, since his wife loves Christmas shopping (well, shopping in general, but especially Christmas shopping), so he gave them some money to treat themselves to something. I’m not expecting anything this year, though, and I normally don’t. That way I’m not disappointed if I don’t get anything, and the only thing I’m in a position to give right now isn’t due to go its recipient until late February.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As a December birthday person (the 19th to be exact) I do feel cheated. My gifts, if I get any, are wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper and often a Happy Birthday too is tacked into a Christmas card message. It really is unfair:)
    I think the lack of daylight drags me down in November and December. I can’t wait for February when the daylight start to actually feel longer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mine is closer again to Christmas. I was due to be born on Christmas Day. I hated it when I was a kid with the “this is for birthday and for Christmas” BS and they spent the same amount on me for both things as that they spent on my siblings. It always amazes me too with other excuses of not going out to celebrate birthday with oh it’s Christmas and I’m busy or don’t have time or don’t have any money. As a result of this the last birthday I celebrated was my 21 with my friends down the pub. One of the oldest pubs in the country, so outside loo, ale from wooden barrels and a coal fire, farmers and sheep dogs, comfortable but hardly party material. My brother in law has his just before Christmas Day too and my family remember his as my sister won’t let them forget, and again to the expense of forgetting mine. I’m past caring now and I guess I’ll always be 21.

      Liked by 1 person

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