Family & Surgery Update…

So 9 days ago I went for my surgery to remove my skin cancer. My youngest sister messaged me with lots of irritating questions, “what time are you leaving for the hospital, what ward will you be on, will you go straight down to theatre when you get there, what is the latest time they take people to surgery, what time is your operation, how long will you be there, will you have many stitches, what’s happening after the operation, is it a day case, will you have to go back, whats the surgeons name” and many many more! She is one of those people who continually ask questions in rapid fire and never really take a breath, and asks many daft questions. I am not the type of person who likes being questioned and find it irritating, and usually close-down or give generalised answers when this happens as I prefer to tell when I am ready and not be under a spotlight.

After the surgery I drove home and replied to a few more texts from my youngest sister and one from my mother, mainly ones of “are you home yet”. Today I finally got a call from my mother asking how I was, but I could tell from her tone she was not really calling to know how I was, then it came. “The reason for my call, can you ask your mate how much a new computer……” When my phone rang, I said to M “oh! here we go! I wonder what she wants this time?” knowing it would be a “can you” type call and not a genuine call of concern.

One of my sisters has not bothered calling to find out, and my little brother has become an ass and does not think he has to ask about anyone, including his father when he was in hospital.

M and I are always suspicious now when we get calls from our family as it is either a call for help or in the case of M’s mum, a mistaken call as she is trying to call someone else. It would be nice to have parents like we see on the Hallmark channel, or to have family like my cousins, but coming from a broken home I realised that would never happen.

So, my surgery went well, and I got away with only 4 stitches. The surgeon said it was deep and he removed skin and what lies beneath in the shape of an ellipse. He said he thought it went well and for me to go back to see him at the end of the month. I removed (yes I did) my stitches on Thursday and boy was I glad to get them out as they were irritating me. I heal really fast, always have no matter the injury. Cuts tend to take about 24/36 hours to fully knit, and usually within a week they are pretty much healed and just faint scars. This is no exception, and on Thursday when I took them out you would not really tell I had surgery. There is a fine scar and very thin mark that will fade to nothing before I go and see my surgeon.

I thought I would share a photo of the surgery, this was taken about 2 hours after. Although 48 hours later I did have a slight black eye as can be seen in the second picture.

2 Years On…

Two years ago at 18:43 our beautiful girl Lilu crosses the doggie rainbow. We still miss her greatly as though it was yesterday. She will remain in our hearts forever.

One Year On…

No daft titles here today.

A year has flown by since Lilu passed away.  It is amazing how fast that seems to have gone.  8760 hours, that have ticked away without increasing speed, but in our minds, it seems like only yesterday we said goodbye to her and watched her silently pass from this world to the next, via the doggy rainbow that we have no access to.

All around we have our memories of her, on the walls, on the many bookcases, and I even have a tee shirt that has both Lilu and Harper (at 8 weeks old) on, which I have on today.

If I did not know better I would swear that Mazikeen is a reincarnation at times of Lilu.  She has so many of the same mannerisms and the same spirit of adventure.  Even the spiral staircase in the middle of the house was no obstacle to Lilu, and Mazikeen is the same, however, Harper puts her front paws on the first step and stands there waiting for us, never daring to climb even after watching the pup fly up and indeed when she was a pup herself watching Lilu go up, slowly as her walking was not the best after her spinal stroke, but she still wanted to go up, just for a potter about.  But I know by the Buddhist cycle of reincarnation that it is not possible, as they say, saṃsāra is an endless cycle without pause or end unless liberation is achieved by insight and the extinguishing of desire.

A year on and we still miss her like mad, and now and again emotions stir, a tear is shed, but the fun times and great memories are in abundance.  So I will leave you with a photo of her in one of her favourite places, the beach.

Lilu – Posing for a photograph before launching herself into the sea

So on and on the story goes…

An ode to an odd day…

M flew out to visit his parents yesterday morning.  We had to be up at 4:45 in order to get him to the Airport for 6 am check-in.  Not a hard feat but, all the same, I would have prefered to have been in my pit for a little longer.  The journey to the airport was its usual run and nothing new, however, as soon as we arrived the rain started.  M does not like flying at the best of times and in bad weather, he hates it.  The disabled assistance at the airport is my saviour, I handed him over to the company and from that point, they look after him for the duration of his journey, at the other end they collect his baggage and hand him over to his friend, thus no worries for me.  I returned home well after sunrise in torrential rain.  I was not aware that a so-called Indian summer included monsoon rainfall.

The rain, it never stops, but I do have places to go!  Dog walking, a rather wet affair, the girls were not too impressed in the end, well, I say the girls, I really mean Harper, she is not a lover of rain, however, the pup carried on like it was a normal thing, a Springer is only at home digging in the dirt.

I finally managed to get out and get some groceries, and of course the obligatory treats for the hounds.  But then the day seemed to grind to a halt, constant rain battered the windows and a feeling of being lost in my home started to consume me.  I needed something to do that I could relax with, yet my mind became vacant of all thoughts relating to that.  I have a mountain of things I will be doing whilst M is away, but I really wanted to try and relax over the weekend.  The mind-numbing silence was broken only by the persistent squeaks from the dogs’ toys.  Then the inevitable, the squeaking stopped and the deafening sound of silence was all consuming.  My only solace, Spotify!  However, even the throws of death metal indispersed with softer rock started to invade my physical space.  Finally, M called and a sense of normality prevailed, at least for a short while.

The Last Night of the Proms was on TV, as I have always watched it, last night was no exception, thus I opened a beer, sat on the floor so the animals could claim the sofa as their domain and mentally transported myself to the Royal Albert Hall amongst the throng of the Prommers.  But as with everything, it is all over too soon and my bed called to me.

The night was filled with the dogs cuddling up to me, or a more precise description would be lying on me, and Mazikeen feeling it appropriate to rest her very hairy neck and face across my nose and mouth, rendering breathing an impossibility.  A massive bed devoid of souls on M’s side.  This was a new fresh hell to add to my continuing saga.  Finally, they relented and let me sleep until 5:20 when it became toilet time for the pup.  Deep joy enveloped me having to drag my carcase out of a warm bed to stand naked in the cold of the hall whilst she did her pee, the rain still pouring and the winds whipping everything.  I managed only to stay in bed then until 7:30 when the dogs had finally decided it was time to rise.

40 Years On…

Over the last 4 years I have met up with lots of family members I never knew (my Mums birth family) or had not seen for 30+ years (cousins, uncles and aunts), today I got to meet my cousins who I have not seen for 40 years.  Only due to Facebook was this possible, I had added cousins, uncles and aunts there and my cousin Gail messaged me a few weeks ago asking if I was the little boy she remembered from all that time back.  She asked if I fancied meeting up and having a catch-up and she would bring her sister Lorraine with her.  Today was the day, and I had a lovely afternoon chatting and recalling things from when I was 8 years old, I even told them where I remembered their house was, their Dads speedboat colours and many many other things.  They were both amazed at the fact I remembered so much from all those years ago.

We talked about family, how my Dads family were estranged due to his lies, telling them we had moved (my Mum still lives in the same house and has done for 46 years) and telling my Nan not to make contact with us.  Like me, their opinion of my father is also very low.  I was saddened to find that their Dad had died in 1999, but glad to hear their Mum is still alive and living in the same house I remember from my childhood.  My Nan was their Nan’s sister, so we talked about both of them and the legendary parties their Nan had at new year.  We shared stories of our memories when we all went on holiday to Devon and Cornwall which was quite a thing as there were so many of us there, usually my family, my Nan, their Nan and Granddad, their family, my uncle and his family and another of my uncles, so we are talking 18 people, our dog Kimmy and some years more, so it was quite an event.

Lorraine had to go to the Dentist at 5, so I took Gail home and met her husband and kids, so again more connections added to my family tree.  Both girls live around the corner from where I was born and lived as a toddler, and not far from my aunts where we spent lots and lots of time from when we were kids to my late 20’s.  The coincidences were in abundance, and we think that we would have passed each other many many times, but never known it.  Gail and her husband also go to the pinewoods all the time, so it is possible that we have passed each other again, but never known it.

We have vowed to keep in touch and to meet up again in a week or so and bring our spouses with us, and when they are going to the woods to let us know and we will meet them down there and our dogs can meet too.  This seems like the first of my family that genuinely want to keep in touch, and we are planning to go and visit their mum as a surprise too.

So today’s reunion has been a good day all round and I am looking forward to the next chapter.